“Bob, I think we might have a legal issue on this new toy line of ours. They seem awfully similar to the Ninja Turtles.”
“Sir, I can assure you that they are quite different. First of all, they are tortoises. Ask any herpetologist… completely different animal. Turtles are amphibious and enjoy a damp environment. Which is why they live in the sewers. Whereas our tortoises like it dry, so they live in an abandoned dehumidifier factory.”
“Interesting. I’m still not sure there is enough to differentiate them.”
“Okay, check this out, yo. The turtles are teenagers, right? But the Ninja Tortoises are clearly in their late 20s. The turtles like pizza, the tortoises prefer tacos. The turtles learned their ninjitsu from the ancient teachings of their Master Splinter. The tortoises learned their ninja skills from some Tae-Bo tapes they found in a dumpster.”
“Alright, I’m pretty convinced. Just in case, put a giant tortoise sticker on them.”
(Source: bestnatesmithever)
(Source: thats-so-meme)
Click through to read the rest of the article. It’s quite interesting.
And just one reason why I’m vegetarian.
Fandom: Mass Effect
“She was unsure of how long this continued, but eventually, like everyone else she’d ever been with, he came before she did. The force of the orgasm flung her off of his raging anaconda, and she fell through the clouds, cursing his name.”
…What the hell did I just read?
His raging anaconda?
His raging anaconda.
My anaconda don’t want none
Unless you’ve got buns, hun^^^ All I could think of.
Reblogging cause I’m listening to Jonathan Coulton’s version of that song.
p.s. Miliat, I’d never heard that song before until Ralovex had it as his forum tag and I googled it. /sheltered life
(Source: wtffanfiction)
An Etymology Steeped In Contradiction
I am one of those few people in the overlapping section. Actually, wtb tea now.
He’s really good at frozen food and you can be too!
How do you not know?
Don’t trust fish.
-mcb
-Seth
